*Don’t change to another bad addiction!
The first weekend of this month was a long weekend here in Australia (no work on Monday!). Come Monday evening, and I was feeling ashamed of myself. I did little-to-nothing all weekend, and my recycling bin was overflowing.
Stacked on top of and around the recycling bin was a lot of empty beer bottles and cans – plus the empty cartons of some very shit food, pizzas, desserts, etc. I spent the weekend escaping from myself… getting drunk, watching movies and being gluttonous.
Setting goals, moderation is OK
Looking back at previous months, I’ve mentioned a few times that I don’t want to replace weed with alcohol. I enjoy a couple of beers on a weekend. A couple on a Friday night after a long week at work, a couple after a few hours of kayaking on a lazy Saturday afternoon.
So last weekend I set myself a challenge. I didn’t want to get drunk all weekend, so the goal was to have no more than a 6 pack worth of standard beers from Friday afternoon to Sunday. That would give me a little-chilled-out-buzz, but not get me drunk. While I came very close (went just one 500ml can over my limit!), I proved something to myself (again)…
Realising that you’re out of control or failing to stick to your morals, standing back and realising that something is wrong, then taking actions to rectify the situation, is a very powerful moment in time…
I’m training my brain to conquer the shit that happens in my life. After years of trying to quit weed and failing (many, many, many times), I’d almost given up. Never give up – one small success can start snowballing into a massive change in your life.
Smoking through denial
For many years, I told myself that weed was not the problem. If I wasn’t high, I wanted to be high… I wanted to be high all the time, because when not stoned, there was always a nagging feeling of guilt, that I wasn’t the kind of person I wanted to be.
So I smoked. I smoked a fuckload of bongs. I smoked, passed out on the lounge, woke up at 4AM and smoked some more. I smoked until all I needed was to endlessly watch movies (that I don’t remember), gorge on crap food, drink some cider for an extra buzz (was never a beer drinker while a stoner) and forget about everything.
I don’t want to get drunk every weekend, because it’s just another escape. Weed was an escape from the messed up workings of my anxious and depressed mind.
Quitting is hard – not only because of the drug dependence, and the way of life you become accustomed too – but because you have to come face to face with what’s going on in your head and in your life.
Be with yourself.
Find out what’s going on in your head, and figure out what needs to be done to turn your life around.
P.S. I missed posting last month, but I’m still weed-free! This post was prompted by a reader, just like you, commenting on their quit progress. If you’re going through quitting, or need to quit, I’m happy to chat!